How can parents understand their teenage child?

“People deceive our expectations, especially if they are between thirteen and eighteen years old.” - Jody Picoult.

What are the challenges of being a teenager? Being a parent of an adolescent: what problems parents face nowadays? What are the parent-teenager problems? How to become closer to youth: mutual understanding with your child? These and many other questions are asked by people all over the world.

The period between childhood and adolescence is not for nothing called a difficult crisis for a person. This is a period of transformation: a teenager seems to live on a construction site, where he must first clear everything in order to rebuild himself. However, adolescence is not a disease, even if it brings suffering. It's just that everything changes in a child. First of all, his psyche is being rebuilt and altered.

To understand a teenager, you need to know some of the characteristics of adolescence.

The teenager defines again:
• the image (negative or positive) of himself;
• his/her individuality, that is, the ability to exist, think and make decisions on his/her own;
• his driving force, which encourages him to develop, make plans, think about his future;
• his attitude to people, their rules and social norms, the ability to communicate with them and be friends.

In the relationship between parents and adolescents, more and more often there is a misunderstanding or mutual misunderstanding. How, then, can parents understand a teenager, especially when teenagers provoke their parents into conflict?

To understand a teenager in this case, you need to understand what is driving him. A teenager needs to get an answer, a reaction, meet resistance and understand what is really going on with him. We can say that conflict with us adults helps teenagers grow up. To be honest, teenagers don't really need parental understanding.

An overly intrusive attitude or intrusion into his personal space is more likely to cause him anxiety, apprehension, perhaps alertness and isolation. We need to understand that a teenager grows up thanks to the manifestations of independence in everything.

How to understand a teenager?

Try to be patient, create a certain psychological distance that is comfortable for everyone. Don't ask intrusive questions, but stay open for conversation about any topic. If a child talks to you - about anything, if he strives for a discussion - even if it turns into an argument - then everything is in order with him: there is mutual understanding between you, and this is the most important thing.

What do teenagers expect from their parents?

You can understand a teenager if you know what he expects from us, parents. Since they build their interpersonal relationships with peers, then, of course, they are waiting for help and support here. For example, you can let his friends come to visit you, etc.

When communicating with a child, avoid harsh unambiguous statements about the teenager's future profession, his studies, and intimate relationships. Especially if you are so eager to understand a teenager. A categorical "no" is unlikely to stop a child from rash actions, rather, it will become a catalyst and a call to action that you are so afraid of. Try to understand the teenager. After all, teenagers expect honesty from you.

Don't be afraid to admit your mistakes and imperfections. This will help build a trusting relationship with your child. At the same time, you will not lose credibility in his eyes, but you will earn respect.

Be generous with praise and your time with your child if you want to understand the teenager. Now more than ever, he needs to know that you are proud of him. If your teen wants to talk to you, be sure to take the time and listen! You must show that you are ready for dialogue, that you will help him cope with difficulties, that you are ready to think with him about solving the problem.

Recommendations to help you understand your teenager:
• Start by educating yourself. Your own example is the best example for your child.
• The family should have a supportive atmosphere. If it seems to you that it does not exist, then try to create it. Psychological education of adolescents is impossible without this condition.
• Also, psychological education includes the refusal from raised tone in a conversation with a child, insults and any manifestations of violence.
• Form and cultivate patience and delicacy, the ability to listen and hear, respectful attitude towards the teenager's world, his point of view, no matter how absurd it may seem to you.
• Joke more and be happy. Home decor should be simple and casual. Teach your teen to think positively and self-shape his mood. You will not even notice how you will begin to understand the teenager. Be the best example of an optimistic outlook on life.
• Smile, love and appreciate your child! And then your attitude will return to you with a boomerang of respect and gratitude, and the teenager will enter the life being successful and happy.