9 signs you're in love with the wrong person

Sometimes love arises in the head and not in the heart. We replace this feeling with affection, our own projections and hope. We build relationships with the image of another person; confuse a real person with idealized ideas about him. Here are a few signs that you are doing just that.

You are more in love when you are apart

Let's make a reservation right away: we are not talking about those partners who were separated by circumstances - work, quarantine, temporary impossibility to relocate to each other. We are talking about those who are not forced to live separately - they just choose this option.

If you live in the same city, but prefer to miss each other, write long messages and call up from time to time, most likely you are in a relationship with some kind of “ideal”, and not with a real person.

When you spend time together, it may turn out that you don't get along very well

How does spending time together end? Do you quarrel? Do you end up wanting to be alone as soon as possible? Do you have an unpleasant feeling that your usual way of life was disturbed?

When a partner is nearby, what does his presence give you? Is it calmness, peace, or the feeling that you are limited in some way?

All couples have difficult times, but if a negative scenario repeats itself every time, it's time to think. Do you get on each other's nerves every day? It's time to admit that you are not as compatible as you would like to think.

Try to imagine the person you are in love with as a colleague. How would you feel working together?

You would not want to be friends with such a person

If you weren't in love with your partner, would you want to be friends with them? Getting rid of the romantic vibe can be difficult, but still try to answer the question. If the answer is “no”, this means it is not the one you need next to you. Most likely, this person satisfies some of your needs, closes a gap in your life.

Would you like to work together?

In a sense, living together is work - in the sense of "partnership", "cooperation". Try to imagine the person you are in love with as a colleague. How would you two work together? Would you trust him with your money or your livelihood? Could you rely on him and trust his opinion? If the answer is no, it's time to take off your rose-colored glasses.

You have too different values, priorities and plans

In youth, the majority believes that love will conquer everything, the main thing is feelings. With age, it becomes clear that feelings alone are not enough, compatibility is also needed. Are your views on life, expectations from marriage and plans similar? What do you both want in the future? Are you focused on family, children, career development?

If you are forced to constantly compromise and sacrifice something, think about it: maybe you should end the relationship before it's too late. Especially if…

The partner has already clearly told you that he is not ready for commitment

Another thing is that we could easily not hear such an unpleasant truth - because otherwise we would have to make a decision. If a person says that he is not aiming for a serious relationship right now, you should not be under the illusion that thanks to you, he/she will change his/her mind - perhaps not, and you will just lose time.

We are afraid of loneliness, we are afraid to take a step into the unknown to find out who we are and what we are capable of.

Partner giving mixed signals

It seems to you that this is “the one”, there is chemistry between you, a spark, but at the same time you are not sure that he appreciates you, respects you, and is determined to invest in relationships. You should think very carefully: are you misleading yourself?

You or your partner sabotage any attempt to move forward in the relationship

It happens that we are simply not ready for a relationship yet, but instead of breaking up with a partner, we begin to unconsciously sabotage its development - we are in no hurry to move in together or take another important step. Most likely, the fact is that deep down we know: this is not what we need right now or in general.

Deep down you know that this is not your person, but fear what lies ahead

We often end up with the wrong partner because we are afraid of the consequences of a breakup. We put our life on pause, use it as an anchor and sway on the waves without moving anywhere.

We are afraid of loneliness, afraid to take a step into the unknown to find out who we are and what we are capable of. We are afraid of the path ahead, and therefore we cling to the one who is near. Instead of wondering if you are the right fit for your current partner, think about it: is he right for you?