11 tips on how to teach siblings to get along with each other
1. Don't compare children to each other
Comparisons alienate children from each other and serve as a breeding ground for conflicts. Pay attention to the individuality of each child. This will not only help them grow up to be more flexible and adaptable, but will also allow them to learn a lot from each other and learn to appreciate people who are different from them. This lesson can be taught to children by showing tolerance, accepting and celebrating the unique characteristics and strengths of each person.
2. Appreciate good deeds as much as school grades
Follow the actions of children no less than the grades in the report card. During dinner or trips from school, ask everyone what they did for their brothers and sisters today so that they understand that good deeds are as important in your family as achievements in school or sports.
3. Create opportunities for collaboration, not competition
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Instead of offering a competition: “Who cleans the room first will choose the movie we will watch tonight,” say, “Help each other clean, and then we will decide together which movie to watch.”
4. Teach children to solve problems
Explain what you are doing and why you are giving such advice. This will help build skills that will enable them to deal with problems and solve problems when you are not around. Doing everything for the child, without explaining anything, you will deprive him of the opportunity to learn life lessons. If you want the children to figure everything out for themselves in some situation, explain your decision, otherwise your actions will seem chaotic and unpredictable to them.
5. Make kindness and respect the most important values in the family
This may seem obvious, but many children claim that their parents don't talk about it directly.
6. Spread time between your children evenly
One reason for rivalry between siblings is the struggle for parental attention. It is important to try to make time for everyone so that they understand that they are loved and appreciated. It can even be about 10 minutes a few times a week. For example, you could start a tradition of going to an ice cream parlor after your oldest son's soccer games.
7. Resolve conflicts with humor
You will demonstrate an effective way to resolve conflicts and relieve tension.
8. Show the children how important your brothers and sisters are to you
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Tell them how your relationship developed: you probably had conflicts, but despite this, you love each other. If you do not have siblings or are not in a relationship, but have a friend or girlfriend, you can use them as an example, explaining that you are just like relatives. Share stories from your childhood, showing the pros and cons of such a close relationship.
9. Help children overcome age gap disagreements
If the age difference between children is large, try to create maximum opportunities for rapprochement and strengthening relationships. Take the whole family to the beach, to the playground, to the pool - where there will be something for all family members to do.
10. Give kids space
It happens that children spend all the time together at a very early age. This can result in conflicts, for example, during the holidays. Let them rest from communication. This will help, on the one hand, not get tired, and on the other hand, appreciate each other more.
11. Teach kids not to hold grudges
Studies of relationships between adult brothers and sisters show that old grievances, including childhood grievances, often become a stumbling block. So teach your children to forgive each other and forget old conflicts.
If a child “pouts” at someone for a long time, you should explain to him how important it is to be noble and to be able to forgive. It is better that they learn this lesson in childhood: it will come in handy in future relationships.
Your job as a parent is to teach your children to solve problems constructively and avoid unnecessary conflict, to give everyone enough time, love and attention so that they do not get angry at their brothers and sisters for “taking” you away from them.
Research proves that for children to be happy now and in the future, it is important that they establish close relationships with each other based on friendship and mutual assistance. A brother or sister is not only a playmate for children, but also the closest person to whom you can bear your soul, share experiences, ask for help.
Researchers from Brigham Young University (USA) found that “teenagers who had sisters were less likely to feel lonely, unloved, insecure, less likely to experience guilt, anxiety and fear. At the same time, the age of the sister and the age difference between her and the teenager himself did not matter.”
Another study found that boys learn altruism and kindness from interacting with their siblings. They grow up to be more generous men who are better at listening and more sensitive to the needs of others. Therefore, you can do your children an invaluable service if you help them become friends at an early age. How to do it? Here are a few recommendations for your children to get along with their siblings.
