What Is Poverty Trauma?
Is poverty a childhood trauma? Do you often think about the fact that other people have everything, and you don't even know if you will ever have it? Does it hurt, makes you scared and sad? What are the reasons for such pain, what to do with it and how to get out of such a neurotic state? How does poverty cause trauma?
Recently, many people turn to psychotherapists with painful experiences (“I look through the pages on social networks and see that people have a lot ... They are rich and famous, they are surrounded by luxury goods - expensive cars, three-story houses, villas, branded clothing and accessories ... "). For a certain category of people, all this causes strong envy and pain from the fact that they do not have something.
Why is there such a burning feeling of annoyance caused by the well-being of another person? Often the reason is hidden in the remnants of the 90s, when people were between 5 and 15 years old, and a strong susceptibility to society as a whole was formed.
The child started going to school and saw the difference between himself/herself and other children who had patent leather shoes, an expensive dress, or several school suits, etc. As a result, the kid feels bitterness and resentment - others have it, but I do not - and trauma is formed at a deep level in this area.
If you look deeper, there is a clue in relationships with parents on the emotional and object level (in other words, the child could simply not be noticed as an object, his basic needs were not realized, there was no emotional connection, and the child suffered because of this).
For example, a child asks: "Mom, buy me those shoes!" and hears the answer: “No! We do not have money!" At the same time, there was no emotional reaction on the part of mom / dad ("I am sorry, dear! Mom is in a difficult situation now, let's wait a little, gather some money and buy those shoes soon?"). The answer "There is no money!" sounds like a sentence for a child – there is no money and there will never be any, no matter what you do! That is why such trauma is formed in the psyche.
In adulthood, the situation is slightly smoothed out, but thanks to social networks, where everything is “on display,” it flares up with renewed vigor, and the trauma of poverty begins to choke a person so much that he declares: “I want wealth! I want a lot of money! I want to earn a lot!" What is this wealth for? What need you will satisfy with it? Try to find answers to these questions.
Behind the desire for wealth lies the desire to satisfy one's sense of dignity. When you looked at other children and your peers who owned everything, and you had nothing, you felt it at deep level, as if you were a worthless person, an intolerable shame that you can approach only after 1-2 years of work. If, before that, a person has somehow worked on himself, the problem can be worked out faster. To smooth over the shame we feel, we hope to earn a lot of money, buy ourselves an expensive car, a huge three-story house, a Rolex, thus trying to prove ourselves worthy. Moreover, due to the desire for ostentatious luxury, a person can have the last piece of bread, but at the same time buy a car on credit.
Such ostentatious wealth doesn't make anyone happy. Many people, having achieved what they want, understand that they are not happy. Wealth should not be a goal; it is a path, a prize in the form of a large monetary reward for your work on yourself and development. As soon as money becomes a goal, it leads to even more neurosis.
In fact, you are wasting time working not on something that your psyche and soul require.
Should you strive for wealth? Yes, you should, but you must definitely understand what kind of internal need you are satisfying at the same time. In other words, your focus should be on ensuring safety, working on self-confidence and self-esteem (I am a decent person, no matter how much money I have in my wallet). There is no need to mix everything all together.
No matter how much money you earn, you will feel that someone is better, richer; there is a back in front that you need to run after to catch up. Stop comparing yourself to someone; you only need to compare yourself with yourself. Always ask yourself - am I happy, am I satisfied?
If you want to be happy, learn to appropriate your successes to yourself (I have become better after this year - I have stabilized and do not change jobs all the time, I earn more, I develop, etc.). Learn to develop confidence in your ability to earn, keep and stabilize what you earn, focus your internal resources to get external ones.
