Peter Pan syndrome or eternal childhood
What is Peter Pan syndrome? Even with all sorts of social masks and pretense, you can still meet people who cannot hide their essence no matter how hard they try. People who remain children for a long time or even for life, as a rule, do not try to change the situation or somehow hide this fact. Awareness of their immature position does not come to them, and they can resent the imperfection and injustice of the world all their lives without seeing their own characteristics and opportunities to change something.
The brilliant writer J.M. Barrie in his work "Peter Pan" vividly described the story of an eternal boy who did not want to become an adult. Years passed, and generations succeeded generations, and he remained young and carefree. This beautiful and slightly sad story gave the name to the syndrome. Peter Pan Syndrome is the scourge of the 21st century. This century is characterized by an increase in feminine men.
Femininity in character, combined with an unwillingness to grow up, provides an interesting picture for psychological research. Most often, this syndrome affects men, although there are cases of female distribution. Cheerful and reckless such people are not aware of their behavior and its inconsistency with the age norm. Considering that such frivolous behavior can be observed in people over thirty, in modern society they can be considered eccentrics or, on the contrary, eccentric originals.
Society, as a rule, welcomes these eternal children with tenderness and forgives many sins until their pranks begin to be openly antisocial. A person with Peter Pan syndrome may not come to work because he simply did not want to or decided so. At the same time, a valid reason is not even sought, since the desire itself is already enough.
In personal relationships, such people do not like to burden themselves with some kind of obligations and norms. Easily and playfully, they are able to both break the heart and soothe with their childish spontaneity. In science, the Peter Pan syndrome was studied by Dan Kylie and Marie-Louise von Franz, who was the first to highlight excessive infantilism in detail and described it in her work.
Men who never become adults are not outcasts of society; they are quite successful and socially adapted people who are distinguished by special behavior. Meeting such a person, one gets the impression of an eternal holiday and carelessness. Research by Dan Kiley shows that when faced with the slightest difficulty, such people prefer to hide and wait out the storm.
Possessing a childish perception of the world, carriers of the syndrome rely on stronger and more experienced partners, trusting them completely. Outwardly, both men and women with Peter Pan syndrome tend to be attractive and look very young. They do not burden themselves with unnecessary worries and hardships of life; therefore they keep the cardiovascular system well and almost never complain about life.
How to recognize a man suffering from Peter Pan syndrome?
Helplessness in case of critical and controversial situations. When faced with difficulties, such a person will not solve them and will not even try to delve into the essence of the issue. Such people have assistants in reserve for all occasions. Men with Peter Pan syndrome are highly selective in communication. They choose only people who can be useful to them in this situation or in the near future. Such people, for all their naivety, calculate the psychology of others very competently, and skillfully use this knowledge.
Dependence on a woman. As a rule, an immature man finds the very savior who will help him cope with any trouble and protect him from future negative impressions in the personality of the mother. As a rule, such behavior is encouraged in every way by the mother, which leads to the fact that such a man may not have a woman nearby.
Dependence on sexual contacts. In the presence of a sexual partner and the absence of a mother, a man with Peter Pan syndrome develops painful dependence on his partner. An immature emotional sphere and lack of experience in overcoming difficulties contribute to the fact that such a person falls into extremes easily and may even commit suicide without a proper response from a significant object.
Which women are most preferred by men with Peter Pan syndrome?
Infantile and immature men are attracted to strong and powerful women. Next to such a lady, he can feel safe. If there is a mother, there is no such need and the search stops. What is most interesting, Dan Kiley's research has shown that such men may well be happy in family life. But this is only if there is a partner who is completely satisfied with the fact that she is stronger in the couple.
In other words, a feminine and infantile man must find his militant and masculine woman. In the study of such couples, a low percentage of divorces were noticed.
Peter Pan syndrome is not a mental illness and may not be recognized by its carrier. This is a set of behavioral reactions and attitudes that affect behavior in society.