Jealousy vs. relations: who wins?
Let’s be frank: can you call yourself a jealous person? Why jealousy is sometimes called a murderer of healthy relations? Jealousy is quite an important emotion affecting our lives, and it can become a relationship killer if there is too much of it.
Stating that being jealous prevents losing what you have indicates a person's insecurity. Experts state that the saying "I trust you, but I don't trust those around you" actually means "I don't trust you either." Arguing that Othello syndrome is the most pathological form of jealousy, experts recommend seeking therapeutic support. Experts say that envy, which is different from jealousy, does not have a pathological aspect.
Jealousy is one of the important emotions that has two different dimensions, one of which is “envy based on the fear of not losing what you have”, and the other is “envy associated with the desire to have what another person has”.
There is nothing pathological about envy. "Jealousy based on the fear of not losing what you have, indicates a lack of self-confidence. This situation causes a feeling of worthlessness and helplessness. The desire to have what others have and the desire to have it for yourself is the first step of the phenomenon that we call envy. If I don't have it, then this is the first step towards having it too. The desire to have some trait or object that someone else possesses is called envy. “If I don’t have it, no one else should have it” – this is a phenomenon we call envy.
Understanding that loving people are jealous can turn your life into hell. Psychiatry specialist Mahir Yeşildal says that feelings of jealousy have a strong impact on mutual relationships: “Take the relationship between spouses. Words such as “Darling, I trust you, but I don’t trust those around you. I know that you won’t do anything wrong, but there are a lot of different people around,” from other people’s point of view, these words are met with such a perception as “Loving people are jealous, jealousy in a dose is good.” This is a generally accepted understanding in society. I believe that such words are an important step to turn one’s life into hell.”
Speaking about the harm done to both parties in a highly controlled, jealousy-laced relationship, psychiatric specialists say: "Don't ask for your lover's or spouse's Instagram password or check messages written to him/her.” In the life of a spouse or lover, both parties do not have the right to poison each other’s lives and dominate the lives of others.”
Othello syndrome
The most pathological form of jealousy is Othello syndrome. "In Othello syndrome, when there is nothing in between, when there is no specific data, the inability of a person to answer the phone at this moment, returning from the place where he went 3 minutes later than the specified time, finding a hair on his clothes, leads the person to believe, and not to suspicion. In "Othello Syndrome", if a woman has someone else’s hair on her, it means for her partner that she has definitely cheated on him. It could even be jealousy towards any person, and even the fact that his wife liked the man's photograph becomes an indisputable evidence."
Psychiatry specialists note that people experiencing severe jealousy follow their spouse or lover on social networks leads the person to depression. The person will feel sad, helpless, worthless, unhappy. The partner makes his life miserable by tiring the interlocutor, taking control of him, trying to find out where he goes, trying to identify his friends. Unfortunately, such love cannot exist. In such cases of jealousy, at least therapeutic support is necessary. Life doesn't go like that. The specialists emphasize that the words “dozed jealousy”, “loving people are jealous”, which are used in society, do not always express innocence and love.
