Great Tactic for Closing Unfinished Gestalts

The guru of the Gestalt approach, Fritz Perls, formulated his vision of the causes of human happiness and unhappiness as follows: the main source that feeds neurosis is an incomplete (unclosed) gestalt.

However... The completion of the gestalt cannot be expected and one cannot strive for it (as they strive to obtain a visa to a rich country that is unkind to some guests)...

Gestalt is a tricky thing... An unfinished gestalt will never be "completed" if a person is too strongly (emotionally) involved in its completion. Indifference to the gestalt is the best tactic for its successful completion.

The main source that feeds the neurosis is an incomplete gestalt

Let’s recall Zeland (a famous Gestalt theorist of our time). Well, with increased Importance, the desired will never come true. You need to go the way we go down to the kiosk for the evening newspaper “for the desire” - confidently, without complexes, and even somewhat laxly - as if shuffling home shoes on the familiar dents of the asphalt.

What is an unfinished gestalt? An unfinished gestalt is a chain that chains us stronger than other chains invisible to the eye to:
• people
• places
• recurring life scenarios...

In other words, when:
• something (or someone) in life very much wanted, but we did not have it,
• when we ended a relationship with someone on a very strange note, without understanding what happened,
• when we have not completed an action or work.

And (most importantly!) if periodically returning mentally to this topic, we experience strange irritation and discomfort - we have an unfinished gestalt in all its glory.

Why is an incomplete gestalt dangerous?

First, it creates a focus of chronic displeasure or anxiety inside our body.

And secondly, it absolutely really, not metaphorically prevents us from moving forward in life. Approximately in the same way that a test that you haven’t passed prevents you from getting a diploma, to receive which you need to go to some godforsaken department of life safety. Approximately in the same way those textbooks that have not been returned to the library interfere with getting a signed final clearance with honor. Something like an unpaid fine or alimony prevents you from going abroad.

What to do with incomplete gestalts?

To complete the unfinished gestalts, we need to use the advice given to the world a hundred years ago by the clever poet, writer and playwright Oscar Wilde:

“To overcome temptation, you need to give in to it.”

The completion of the gestalt gives one more benefit to the person - the person becomes pleasant in communication and begins to become easy for other people.

How? Let’s explain this. People with incomplete gestalts are always trying to complete them in other situations and with other people - forcibly imposing roles on them in their incomplete gestalt scripts!

In this way the partners whose today's loved ones at one time expected a certain sign of attention from someone from their past life, but again, did not receive it, are at a loss: “What is my darling capricious about? What does he/she allude to? What does he want?” And he (she) needs, for example, for someone to praise his art of fast driving. Or she wants to be carried it in his arms with a full meeting of all her friends (that's why she gets drunk, so that there is a reason to carry he, for example).

“Deal with your unclosed gestalts today so as not to torment people dear to you tomorrow”, - this is how the slogan of Gestalt therapy would sound if it were interested in advertising slogans ...

But what if, for example, I wanted to become a doctor? Naturally, it is easier for me to make a doctor out of my child (for this, God gave man the talent to be fruitful and have children - so that he could complete our own gestalts!).

With all the high cost of the goal and the resistance of the kid who doesn’t need it, it is much easier than completing your gestalt yourself! No, gentlemen, it's simple...

Think about this. When you “wanted to be a doctor”, what did you really want? One evening spent in subtle reflection will give you an honest answer to this question!

What did you associate with the work of a doctor then? What hidden (and therefore real) desires did you want to satisfy by wearing a white coat?

These are the gestalts - and complete. Sometimes even just realizing “what I really wanted, dreaming of a career as a doctor,” leads to a happy gestalt ending!

There is one small and simple rule for working on completing gestalts: start by completing the simplest and most obvious gestalt; something that does not require thoughts and significant efforts. Fulfill your cherished (preferably silly) dream. Learn to waltz! Learn how to bake a Napoleon cake. Go kayaking!

And then the gestalts will begin to close one by one, dousing you with their magical dust.

And after a short time, you, being happy, as on an advertising tourist calendar, will find yourself far, far away, as the chains that chained you to the past will burst.