5 hidden signs of self-loathing.
It is believed that self-dislike is easy to notice in the manner of speaking, in the way a person holds himself, even in his gait. But it often happens that indecisive and modest people fully accept themselves, with all the shortcomings. And bright, charismatic personalities are full of hidden hatred towards themselves. How to understand what signs indicate dislike for yourself?
The success of a person is not yet an indicator of love. Many people build a career to get rid of the feeling that you are a loser. Only the hidden feeling of one's worthlessness will still remain, because this is a consequence, and the struggle must begin with the cause - hidden hostility.
Self-love or self-acceptance is the emotional primary state, and external signs will be secondary. Therefore, most often, such advice as: please yourself with a new dress or get a massage will not have a tangible effect. You have to work on accepting yourself. This feeling is expressed in small things, often imperceptible to us.
1. Buying cheap consumer goods
Those who treat themselves well do not save. This does not mean they are extravagant or not thrifty, they just know very well that a good thing does not come cheap, and therefore they do not succumb to the bait in the form of reduced prices. Investments in quality items and items of equipment that increase comfort, standard of living and mood are an important part of their expenses.
The level of wealth does not play any role here. In the end, those who are trying to save money overpay twice - low-quality cheap things quickly lose their appearance or break. It makes a vicious circle. And we are not talking about lack of money - such a person has a conviction that he is not worthy of a beautiful, high-quality thing. If the choice always goes in favor of some kind of acquisition only because it is “cheap”, then you need to stop and understand how much you value yourself.
2. Constant overeating
Food is the most important need for such people. And hunger here does not matter. This manifests itself in any situation: a friendly dinner, eating leftover food after the child, almost continuous chewing in front of the TV. To cheer yourself up – you just eat a couple of sandwiches or cakes, wash them down with something sweet. Psychologists believe that the reason for this attitude is the neglect of your real interests.
A person who respects himself - appreciates the mind and body, approaches his needs reasonably. Therefore, he will not harm his body by mindlessly consuming junk food in large quantities. This is not about an extra piece of birthday cake. We all overeat sometimes. But the constant desire to munch on something tasty without hunger or the desire to leave your plate always clean suggests that food comes before all other needs. You should stop and analyze how this will manifest itself in other areas.
3. Last place
There are individuals who feel great in the forefront - this applies to both work and leisure. And there are those who are forever in the "backyard of life." They constantly sit far away, tend to avoid all attention, do not like to talk about themselves. More often than not, they don’t even realize the reason for such actions. And it lies in the fact that deep inside such people are sure that they are unworthy of more.
If they, having come to a lecture, sit in the front rows, then this will be only in order to see or hear better. But more often they immediately go to the last places. And if a discussion starts, they will stubbornly remain silent, even if they do not agree: someone's opinion is a priority for them. This does not mean that “one must run ahead of the locomotive” and strive to be only the first in everything. But it is worth considering if you have a habit of sitting in the last row.
4. Self-indulgence
A common piece of advice for a person with low self-esteem is to treat yourself. It is believed that self-confidence will increase if you do not restrain your desires. But is it really so? What happens if a small child is left alone with ten servings of ice cream, or an adult allows himself to indulge in all bad habits?
True love lies in caring. If a person truly loves himself, he will not risk his health and well-being for the sake of momentary whims that can harm or completely destroy his life. The one who takes care of himself consciously chooses what will fill his life. A loving person is free from everything that can bring harm.
5. Life by strict rules
Let's talk about the bias in the other direction, when strict adherence to the rules set for oneself, goes beyond all reasonable boundaries. Such a person, having decided to take care of his health, will calculate every extra calorie with a calculator, continually tell others what junk food they eat and torment his relatives for every extra piece.
Here you need to stop and think about what really drives the person: self-care or a painful need to become good, meeting far-fetched requirements. If rules are valued more than care, it means that demands are much more loved. True love wisely adheres to the "golden mean", based on its benefits.
All hidden signs of self-dislike have a common feature: if someone or something is put above your true needs, then self-love is clearly not sufficient. Sometimes it takes courage, honesty, and self-discipline to allow yourself to truly love yourself, but the success you get is worth it.
Changes for the better will definitely be seen by others; they will appreciate and respect you more. Desires will begin to come true, and then something will come to life that you didn’t even allow yourself to dream about before.
